Your first love

As you can tell, it has been a while since my last post. I wish I could say that during this time I was doing something inspiring, like volunteering at the library, serving at the humane society, or organizing the junk-drawer in the kitchen. Instead, during the time I normally set-aside for writing, I've exercised, read some books, downloaded music, talked on the phone, and watched TV. It isn't that these things are wrong or bad, but I got a little lazy, and more than a little distracted from some of the things I love most. When Gary and I first started this project of writing a marriage devotional book, I was SO excited. I couldn't wait to get up and write. Serving God and ministering alongside pre-married and married couples with my husband is one of my greatest passions. So what happened over the past 46 days?

I lost a bit of my first love.

After the newness and excitement wore off, what remained were the tasks of journaling, studying the Bible, and transforming Gary's and my notes into something worth reading. So what happened to my enthusiasm for the Scriptures, story-telling and practical applications for marriage?

I lost a bit of my first love.

Losing your first love can unfortunately be easy to do. When something isn't as exciting as it used to be, we become neglectful, or worse, we look for something else with which to replace it. But what happens if we do this in our relationships? When we lose our first love with our spouse or spouse-to-be we stop doing the things we did at first. Sometimes we start to take each other for granted and wrongly assume our spouse knows of our love and gratitude. We can become neglectful and begin to think of ourselves first. Our spouse's wants, needs and desires start to become secondary to our wishes.

Here are some simple ways to restore and rekindle your first love:

1. Leave love-notes, send emails or text messages, or make a quick phone call just to say "hi".
2. Say "I love you", "Thank you" or "I am sorry." Say these things often.
3. Ask your spouse how she she wants spend free-time this weekend. Ask your spouse what he wants to watch on TV.
4. Make time to give (or receive) a 5 minute back rub.
5. Offer to do a household chore that your spouse normally does.

The Lord Jesus spoke to the Church in Ephesus about losing their first love. You will notice that He was not talking about marriage in these verses. Yet, Jesus gives us at least three practical steps for us to take when we find ourselves forsaking our first love. See if you can find them.
READ: Revelation 2:3-7
"You have persevered and have endured hardships for my name, and have not grown weary. Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love. Remember the height from which you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lamp stand from its place."

QUESTIONS:
1. Describe the first thing that you noticed about your spouse? What initially attracted you to her/him?
2. When did you first say "I love you"? Talk about the time and place when you knew that she or he was "the one".
3. What is it about remembering that helps to restore our first love?
4. What role does repentance play in marriage?
5. Name at least one way that you can refresh or restore the "things you did at first".